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DISCUSSMidwestern Christian Girl Still Single at 22
05/05/2008By Leann Long
Springtown, MO--The Christian community in Springtown, Missouri, is outraged over a community member's unwillingness to do anything possible to get married as soon as possible.
Having still not met a man she wants to marry at the ripe age of 22, Carrie Webster refuses to force herself to fall in love with any of the available Christian men she knows. Even though several of the men interested in marrying Webster are virgins and many more are born-again virgins, she still refuses to consider any of them, claiming she is seeking a man who can satisfy deeper issues, such as challenging her spiritually and intellectually.
Adding to Carrie's peculiar life choices is her complacency in being single. Webster's former Sunday School teacher, baffled at how someone from her church could be so defiant, doesn't know what to make of Webster's rebellious behavior. "Not only is she being ridiculously selective in choosing a mate," said Mrs. Linda Mae McGlashan, "something that really doesn't require much thought, but she is also fine with not getting married for several more years!"
Webster attributes part of her contentment to remain single to her successful career, which she claims is "very fulfilling."
Not being tied down with a husband or family has allowed her to travel frequently with her company and meet interesting people from around the world. According to Webster, her globe-spanning trips have given her the opportunity to build relations with and witness to many individuals.
"Being single so long has given me time to discover my own passions and interests and build a career," she said.
The entire community is perplexed by Webster's choice to actually pursue a career after graduating from college, as young Christian women in the Midwest typically attend a small liberal arts or religious college for the sole purpose of finding a husband.
Testament University graduate Tracy Bolles met her husband the day she moved into the dorms as a freshmen and says she felt as though her life's mission was complete. "He was a tall basketball player at a Christian university-more than I ever dreamed I would find in a man."
Bolles did complete an undergraduate degree in public relations but said she has no interest in that field. She reports, instead, "utter contentment" as the wife of a former college basketball star.
Not all Midwest girls are as lucky as Bolles, unfortunately. Wheaton, IL native Jenny Stream did not meet her husband until her sophomore year of college. "I stuck out like a sore thumb my freshmen year because I was not in a serious, Christ-centered relationship," Stream said. "It took me a while to find a guy who was called into ministry."
Stream is not alone in wanting to marry someone who is called into ministry. According to a recent study conducted on college campuses throughout the Midwest, South and Southwest, 95% of all young Christian woman feel called to be pastor's wives.
With so many girls finding true love by the age of 19, what is Webster's problem? Sociologists from a nearby Lutheran college placed the blame on her family, but Sandy Webster is flabbergasted and ashamed of her daughter's behavior and choices.
"I am ready to pour thousands of dollars into a 20-minute wedding ceremony," Sandy said, tears streaming down her face. "But Carrie insists on rebelling. I'm utterly appalled by her selfish actions. She should have already given me a couple of grandchildren by now, yet she is more concerned with establishing a life and identity of her own. I don't understand why she can't just sacrifice all of her personal goals and choose one of the local Christian men to spend the rest of her life with. Why can't she just live her life exactly like I want her to-the way a Christian woman should."
The entire Christian community in Springfield has publicly committed itself to praying daily that God will lower Webster's standards so that she can settle down-and so that her days as successful career woman can come to an end. Although her parent's and church community acknowledge that waiting until she is older to marry will give her more time to develop as an individual and, thus lower her chances of getting divorced, they want her to select a husband now because that is what young Christian women do.
Carrie's father, Steve Webster, wishes he still had the power to ground his daughter for the controversy she has created-however, he fears that grounding will only exacerbate the problem.
"Having a job that makes her happy and gives her the freedom to follow her dreams is not part of God's plan and is no way for a Christian girl to live her life!" Webster said.
i am yours forever if u can accept me, 26yrs black form Africa based in Glasgow on a visit. i may suspend that visit if u are ready for me for life. Samuel love yaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
There was once a famous christian teacher. He never had a real job. He wondered around the country side with 12 other men. He once spend a night with another man who was wearing only a sheet.
He died a 33 year old virgin. I forgot his name.
Must've been a christian in name only.
Dear Yenta,
See that he's gentle
Remember,
You were also a bride.
It's not that
I'm sentimental
It's just that I'm terrified!
You're obviously a queer...not that there's anything wrong with that.
Okay, SRebbe, that last post was supposed to go to nyguy...I've already called you a queer earlier...hopefully, you both know I'm kidding.
I got a laugh out of it, no offense taken. I enjoy your sense of humor. Besides, usually the closeted homosexual pastors are the married ones anyway.
cough, cough, ted, cough, haggard, cough, cough.
"Besides, usually the closeted homosexual pastors are the married ones anyway."
Win!
*sneeze*JoelOsteen*sneeze*
There must be truth in that. A sem classmate, about 5 years after graduation, told me that another classmate, who was married, was, as he put it, "flaming gay". Surprised me!
I have too much natural estrogen to be a queen, sweetie.
you're forgiven. scone?
NY guy,
We should really meet. We're probably twins separated at birth! I'm 10 years older than you, but that would make your already scandalous life even more so a la Demi and Ashton.
MN woman; single; youth pastor; gorgeous
La Pastora,
I'm answering for NYGuy as he's at the gym right now, keeping his impeccable six-pack abs taught for Godly hotties like you. He wanted me to let you know that after he runs by the hospital to take candy to the childrens' cancer ward, he'll need to stop by the homeless shelter to serve dinner and lead the bible study afterwards. But after that, he's free to take your phone call. Oh wait, he just got a text about the personal training session he's leading for the NY Giants...can you call tomorrow?
way off, well except for the impeccably taught abs ;)
Dude, I'm just puttin' on some window dressin' for the lady-ies...
ha, Im 27 but I look like I'm 23. You're right that would be utterly scandalous. Even I would probably give someone in that situation weird looks ;). But glad to see that there are some godly single, ministry minded, hotties out there though. That made my day.
I agree with you, ny guy. I personally have not met anyone who thinks like the people in the article, but I have heard a lot about it. I used to live in the midwest, and I would not be surprised that a lot of people think that. I still keep in contact with people from there, and several of the girls (who are now 18-21) are already engaged and are following the 'good little christian girl' thing like the article says.
I was surprised by the percentage of girls who want to marry a pastor. I decided to start doing a certificate in pastoral ministry because I think I may be called to be a youth pastor. I made a comment to my friend that I think only a pastor would be spiritually strong enough for me. I don't know many guys who have the same or higher relationship with God as I do. But, I am not looking to be a 'pastor's wife' per se, but I am waiting on God for the right one. At least it keeps my standards high.
Wow. I sincerely believe that you should hold out for a pastor (don't settle for a youth pastor, they can be overly sensitive, wishy-washy and trend toward mullets). They are the only men who would be "spiritually strong enough" and have "the same or higher relationship with God" as you do. Everyone knows pastors are the most pure and holy men. Don't settle for a sub-par spiritual slacker, honey, only accept the men working the hardest at being the very best christians they can be. Pastor are never, ever weak christians.
In fact, don't even consider anyone from a liberal arts school or even one of those ecumenical universities. Heathens one and all. Absolutely no one with a post degree from Union Theological, Fordham, Notre Dame, an Ivy League school or wherever Process Deist went to school. Nope, Bob Jones, Dallas Theological, Asbury, Liberty, Patrick Henry or any Nazarene/Baptist university grad is what your looking for.
And show them your post here, it will make a nice conversation starter.
Avoid anyone who reads The Door, I'm guessing those guys are wondering if SRebbe or Lilly have sisters like them.
You'd think being a pastor's wife was akin to becoming a fairy princess or something. It's the hardest, non-paying, boundary defying, isolating, gig in the world. It lays you and your children open to all the passive-aggressive psychos that the north-american church spawns. If your husband doesn't have the character of the Man of Steel (I'm fortunate), you and your marriage will never survive the experience.
Quote:
But honestly its better to be single till you're 80 than to be married to a wacko for the rest of your life
AMEN brother. I stayed single for a long time, every day watching friends get married like they HAD to. Got married to someone who ended up being a hellion and was divorced because of the strife and hell of staying with her. Doesn't Paul say if you're not married, to not necessarily strive to BE married (same of divorce)? Let her do what SHE feels Christ has called her to. Not what the masses (including her parents) want because it is the 'status quo' for the backwaters of Missouri. The world doesn't need another divorce statistic. Let her be. In due time, the Lord will lead her to someone or someone to her - if it be His will... otherwise, parental units stay out of her life!
A 'special' word of "thanks" to Cajuncaver (with the help of God and His Son of course) who provided the 'BEST' reply that I've read on this board so far (and yes folks, that's only my opinion).
This 'young' woman has to 'answer' to no-one right now but God Himself, "especially" if she wishes to hold onto her virginity 'until' she decides to get married, and meets the man that God Himself has chosen for her. If this article is true (especially the part about what her parents and others have to say about her 'choice'), I find it to be a sadly disturbing commentary on the where this world is headed, and what will be our 'ultimate' destination when we get there.
Sexual diseases are on the rise (some of them reaching such deadly proportions that the doctors don't even have names for them yet), marriages are ending at an alarming rate, and mankind could almost care less about what God thinks of him and only really cares about what he thinks of himself ("the fool hath said in his heart, there is no God").
I will continue to pray for her and others like her (49 and 'holding', not a lesbian, nor bi-sexual, or any other 'odd' title when it comes to sex these days, but the woman God has "called" me to be until His glorious return for His church.), because it's not about a title (Minister, Deacon, etc.) or anything else, it's about doing what's right by the Word of God and being 'accountable' to Him and His Son 'only', even if the world doesn't or won't understand or agree with you.
"Sexual diseases are on the rise (some of them reaching such deadly proportions that the doctors don't even have names for them yet)"
Can you provide references? And if it is true, its mostly in the third world where people are super religious.
"references" don't mean chapter and verse.
okay, I'm sorry... I had to throw it in...
I would carefully and respectfully submit to you that God does not choose a mate for anyone. He lets you decide who you want to live with. It certainly is a romantic idea, and it gives us cover for our decisions, but you have decided to be where you are. My decisions have led me where I am today. Just a passing thought.
The double d budda has a point. Many people have been led into disillusionment and disappointment because they hold to the idea that there is only one person for them that they must find in order to be happy. God's will is not a single dot on bullseye that you must hit. It's more like the outer circle of the target that gives boundries within which we make our own decisions.
But, then again what do I know.
Holy cow, BJ! You've just explained the reformed view of free will! Unfortunately, you also misspelled boundries you ignant doofus.
B-o-u-n-d-a-r-i-e-s. So I spelled it like I say it. That's what I love about the south. I think I read what I wrote in a Multinoma Press book at some point.
First, you really DID explain in a nutshell what we Calvinist types understand as free will. Second, dude, I live in and am native to NC, which last I checked is still in the south, so I'm right there with you. My wife always says my accent becomes more noticeable when I'm around my dad...at least you didn't say you were goin' to the libry (my personal pet peeve).
I lived for a few years in Hoover, right outside B'ham. Been all around that state from the Shoals, to Tuscaloosa (been to Dreamland), to the Indian Mounds, to Demopolis, to Mobile. Where in Bammy are you?
I'm in Florence. You're making me hungry talking about Dreamland.
Been there too, right across that scary high bridge from Tuscumbia (or is that Muscle Shoals-it's been a few years).
Ahhh, how I remember
The MRS degrees
The Home Nutrition majors
The Senior Scare
I waited so long to marry that I think my father was genuinely relieved to call well after bed time and have my girlfriend answer the phone.
Brilliant Hard Journalism. I thought you guys did satire. I'm thinking of sending it to my Daughter who attends a mid-western Christian College.
I think I should send this to all my girl friends in the midwest... good idea!
Any of them hotties?
man, you have it bad
Not really. I have a beautiful wife. http://www.myspace.com/barrybama
I can't help my Bevis and Butthead tendencies.
Awesome My Space, BJ. You have a nice family, I gotta say I was surprised you live in Crimson Tide country.
I have a Red ball cap with a big white "A" on the front too. Mine has a razorback on the side instead of an elephant. Not that there is anything wrong with 'Bama, it's just, having gone to the U of A in Fayetteville... well, you understand.
Drive By Truckers and Shooter Jennings rock. If you haven't already, try the Dexateens. You can download it free (legally) from their web site. They are a really great 'bama band, touring with The Drive By Truckers this summer.
I will definitely check them out. I'm a music freak. I'm a DBT fan from way back. They have ties to the area where I live. I have to say they aren't quite the same with the exit of Jason Isbell. I'm also a rabid Bama fan. Watch out, St. Nick is here. Roll Tide.
Nick Satan? Didn't he make 6.66 million a win last year? I can't really talk trash, while I went to school at U o Arkansas, I grew up, and live now, a few miles from Notre Dame so while I love the Hogs, I generally follow ND a little closer. Charley Wies had us thinking he was personally responsible for all those super bowl rings. So painfully wrong. I'm afraid St. Nick might turn out the same.
I agree about Jason Isbell, less of a fire underneath without him. Have you heard his solo stuff? I am a huge music fan, Like Jeff Tweedy from Wilco sings, "I was saved by rock n roll... I have been listening to (among lots of other stuff) Hank Williams 3. Now that isn't your daddy's country music, but I think Hank Williams 1 would be proud.
Blasphemy, I'm praying to Bear for your salvation. We all know Jesus is at the right hand and Bear is at the left.
Anyway, I don't think BJ is a pastor, (if you are, sorry, and man do I want to visit the church you pastor at) and a pastor is the only kind of man that is as spiritually strong and has the same or higher relationship with God as does Nancy and her friends. So even were BJ single he would be out of luck. (or lucky, depending on your view.)
No, I'm not a pastor. I used to be. What happened you ask. Naked women and beer.
I was in YWAM (youth with a mission) on staff for 6 yrs. Ahh ministry, those were the days. The phrase "I used to be in the ministry" is usually followed by something interesting.
You forgot the last member of the trinity. Naked Women, Beer, and Rock and Roll.
My name is BJ and I'm a recovering minister.
I have to tease, of course.
Having grown up in St. Paul (which I would define as the Midwest) and having lived in Tennessee a while, I would say this article is more about the South than the Midwest ... well, at least Midwestern cities (I guess it could be about rural Midwestern life, where this does seem somewhat true ... but then Carrie would have moved far enough away from home her family would have forgotten who she was) ... sorry to be a buzzkill
woohoo! St. Paul!
hey, this could easily to Saint Bonnie (Crown College) or Northwestern or Bethel or any of the conservative Baptist-based colleges & universities... oooo yeah, I knew girls who went there... they fit the type... I've seen the rules... more "no's" than the 10 Commandments.
http://www.wittenburgdoor.com/blogs/joebob/2008-05-02
Lilly is back !
Are you for real? Why should an intelligent woman who recognises her life choices be saddled with an inadequate man from Hicksville.
Go girl and fully live the life that God gave you, don't sucumb to the jealousy of inadequate women who didn't have the strength to say NO to men who were beneath them.
Pat - Birmingham - United Kingdom
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