By Kyron Millard
Issue #197, January/Bebruary 2005

Everybody knows that when Jesus isn't taking public transportation, he drives a nondescript beige four-door Honda Civic Hybrid while tooling around the inner city helping the poor.
      What many people don't know, however, is that God the Father can often be spotted cruising the dirt roads of the Colorado high country in his slightly rusty but still trusty pearl white 1976 Ford F-150 that He converted to biodiesel several years ago. With seating for three, a gun rack in the window that He uses to hold His fishing rods and a cooler behind the seat, the slightly anonymous truck still manages to make a statement.
      Having dropped the whole "prophet as a mouthpiece" idea some time ago, God has since employed the "tailgate covered with bumper stickers" method of public communication.

A sampling of some more of God's favorite bumper stickers:

Grape Juice?

Oh, Evolve!

Allah Allah, in come free!

Put Christ back in Xmas? How 'bout dropping all the co-opted pagan imagery and start celebrating His real Birthday — Aug. 6!

Warning: in case of rapture, I'll be just as surprised as you.

Who died and made you God?

Nietzche is dead.

I practice catch and release.

What happens in Vegas ... still gets back to Me.

God: a dyslexic's best friend.